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My awesometastic half done comic

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My awesometastic half done comic

Postby TrinityTear » Mon Jul 12, 2010 9:52 am

I need you guys to critisize.Image
I've got a secret.
It's on the tip of my tongue,
it's on the back of my lungs.
And I'm gonna keep it.
I know something you don't know.
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Re: My awesometastic half done comic

Postby Chuey » Mon Jul 12, 2010 10:06 am

Criticize.

Sorry, typo was bugging me. Anyway, here's a suggestion. Instead of text boxes, just write the text onto the frame/panel. Use white for dark backgrounds like this one, or black for others. Can't find a good one? Outline all the text in a special format that JBD used, though his tutorial never helped me succeed at that. If you place words close enough to the speaker, lines aren't necessary. Here's an example.

It's the last comic I ever made, and that's over a year ago. But it gives you the idea I just explained about speaking. Since it was a dark background, I used yellow so it was still readable, and easily readable too, but also refrained from text boxes and lines as much as possible. Lines are good to use if a speaker's off the panel, at best.

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Re: My awesometastic half done comic

Postby TrinityTear » Mon Jul 12, 2010 10:10 am

Yea. JBD's tutorial didnt help me at all. I did the text boxes because i thought it would be easier to read.
I've got a secret.
It's on the tip of my tongue,
it's on the back of my lungs.
And I'm gonna keep it.
I know something you don't know.
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Re: My awesometastic half done comic

Postby Chuey » Mon Jul 12, 2010 10:11 am

Trust me, it takes away from the background image. And in my opinion, you've got a pretty cool-looking one for this comic.
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Re: My awesometastic half done comic

Postby TrinityTear » Mon Jul 12, 2010 10:49 am

What about the dialog? What do you think of it? Is it good?
I've got a secret.
It's on the tip of my tongue,
it's on the back of my lungs.
And I'm gonna keep it.
I know something you don't know.
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Re: My awesometastic half done comic

Postby Chuey » Mon Jul 12, 2010 11:06 am

Not much to say on it since I don't even really understand what's going on or why this random guy's about to be killed.

Another tip with text: use numbers for speech to determine who talks in what order unless it's purely left to right. It's helpful for both the writer and reader.
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Re: My awesometastic half done comic

Postby GigaMetroid99 » Mon Jul 12, 2010 11:28 am

To be honest, Connor, the number thing looks bleh. For a comic, put the order of words from top to bottom.

And I'll make a more in depth tutorial with pictures for the text thing. Maybe it'll help.
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Re: My awesometastic half done comic

Postby TrinityTear » Mon Jul 12, 2010 11:39 am

Oh sorry i was going to tell you the story of how this happened.The little dude. He's cloud. The big dude. Thats a boss. Hero's and giant monsters that try to kill them dont mix so this is a boss fight.
I've got a secret.
It's on the tip of my tongue,
it's on the back of my lungs.
And I'm gonna keep it.
I know something you don't know.
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Re: My awesometastic half done comic

Postby Luigi_Freak_The_23rd » Mon Jul 12, 2010 1:23 pm

critisize... ok.

Cloud looks awful. Use (better?) sprites for Cloud like you did the big bad boss dude. Also, every single panel is the same thing, no one moves at all, it makes it repetitive to look at. Have them move a little more. Use better Text boxes, type what the characters are saying outside the panel, put a box around it, and drag it into the panel. I can't tell who's talking first, either put numbers in the text boxes or put the dude talking first's box on top. Too much white space. And... that's about it...
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Re: My awesometastic half done comic

Postby TrinityTear » Mon Jul 12, 2010 4:46 pm

Thank you. I could have chosen a better sprite for cloud. But i liked the one im using. Also this is my first comic.
I've got a secret.
It's on the tip of my tongue,
it's on the back of my lungs.
And I'm gonna keep it.
I know something you don't know.
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