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The NSC Fan-Fic: Discord

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Re: The NSC Fan-Fic: Discord

Postby Roboryantron » Sun Jul 18, 2010 2:09 pm

Chapter 6

Ryan heard the thunder from above.

“Is this the storm?” He thought worriedly. The storm AlakazamBrain had warned him about. The storm the community had no chance to survive.

He had to find better shelter than where he was currently residing, a makeshift shack he had made. Ever since AlakazamBrain warned him about the storm, Ryan had been spending a lot of time out on the other side of the volcano trying to figure out a way off the island. Around him were numerous cut down trees, a few saws, and a lot of failed boats. Due to the lack of tools, the boats were poorly made. Most didn’t even float. The ones that could float, would never be able to survive the waves.

Ryan had one boat left that he had not tested. He had meant to test it that morning, when the tides are usually low, but they were much higher than usual, which should’ve been a sign of the impending inclement weather. It was his biggest and most smoothly crafted one yet. It had enough space to carry the entirety of the remaining members of the community as well as a week of supplies. There was only one problem, it had no roof. Going out in the rain would be suicide.

Ryan, scrambling for ideas, was interrupted by a large flash of light striking only about a hundred feet away from him.

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“What the hell are you supposed to be?!” AirConditionerBoy73 screamed at Ztar.

“I am… Reborn…” Ztar said, looking down at her body, still in disbelief that she was ‘alive’ again. The extremely high moisture content had messed with something internally in Ztar. Whatever had disabled her; was now disabled. She looked exactly like the NSC member Star. Though Ztar did not physically have arms, she had projected ultra-hologram arms that functioned as well as physical arms.

“WHO OR WHAT ARE YOU?! If you don’t tell me, I will shoot you!” AirConditionerBoy73 screamed at Ztar, holding his gun aimed at her.

“I am Ztar,” She said looking down at the crippled Storm, “And you are the enemy.”

Storm had tried to rewire Ztar to help NSC, but he could never get it to work. But apparently, it had worked.

Ztar pointed her arm out at AirConditionerBoy73, her wrist turned into a black hole, and she sucked him into it. She then began to do something to Storm’s legs, all she was doing was rubbing her hands above them. It felt weird, but Storm seemed to begin to regain the feeling in his legs again.

“Come on,” Ztar said, helping Storm up, “We have to go.”

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“Oh my lord…” Mike said in disbelief while looking at NSC through his binoculars. “They are getting destroyed.”

“What’s going on?” AlakazamBrain asked.

“Lightning has struck the island at least six times, one of the palm trees was knocked down” Mike explained, “What’s odd though, is that it doesn’t look like it’s begun raining heavily yet. Just a small drizzle.”

AlakazamBrain glanced over at his weather tools. “Well, it’s certainly humid, and well below the dew point…” He said puzzled.

THUD

“What was that?!” Mike screamed worridly.

THUD THUD THUD

“I have no idea, but something’s hitting up against the floor!” AlakazamBrain explained.

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Rai saw the smoke clouds on the other side of the volcano. He realized someone could be over there, and might need rescuing. After a couple of minutes of running, he hit a road block. A giant tree trunk blocked the path in front him.

“Those are some seriously big trees…” Rai muttered to himself.

Rai climbed over the fallen trunk and quickly noticed many other fallen trees, as well as some boats. Then he heard a banging noise from far away, and saw someone hammering what looked like a roof on to a boat. Rai ran over and saw that the person was Ryan.

“Rai, we have to get out of here now!” Ryan screamed.

“I figured.” Rai said.

All of a sudden, the roof collapsed on Ryan’s boat, damaging it beyond repair.

“Rai, do you know anything we could use as a boat to get out of here?” Ryan asked, frantically searching around the island.

“Umm… The palm tree?” Rai said pointing at the fallen trunk.

“Hmm,” Robor murmured, “If it’s hollow, we should be able to use it to escape!”
Ryan grabbed a few tools and picked up as much wood as he and Rai could hold and they began to scurry over to the fallen trunk.

The sound of thunder rang again in the distance.

“We have to hurry,” they said in unison.

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The waves were becoming even more powerful. RayquazaMaster was getting thrashed around. A large wave came over him and shoved him under water for a few seconds. He spit out as much water as he could, but he swallowed a lot. The salty ocean water stung his eyes. His breathing was getting heavy. A large gust of wind blew away his picture of May.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” He screamed so loud that even Mike and AB heard it.

RayquazaMaster began to sob, he truly had nothing left now. His cabin mates had left, his favorite place ever was being destroyed by a storm, and attacked by pirates, and now he lost the love of his life. Just then, he felt a large smack.

The waves had really carried RayquazaMaster fast. Lost in his own thoughts, he smacked up against the pirate ship.

“I’m here!” He exclaimed.

He pulled out the bombs AlakazamBrain gave him and began to blow on them, trying to dry them off. When he felt they were dry enough, he took one, ripped out the fuse, and chucked one on the ship.

BOOM

“We’re under attack!” He heard someone scream.
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Re: The NSC Fan-Fic: Discord

Postby AlakazamBrain » Mon Jul 19, 2010 10:48 am

Awesome job Robor! I love the fact everyone is picking on RM and his picture of May. You did a really good job in writing that chapter.
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Re: The NSC Fan-Fic: Discord

Postby Chuey » Mon Jul 19, 2010 7:55 pm

RM, I said clearly PM it to me first. If you don't send me a copy first and let me proofread it for errors of any kind you WILL be skipped.
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Re: The NSC Fan-Fic: Discord

Postby Storm39 » Mon Jul 19, 2010 7:55 pm

There are several contradictions:

1. AC Boy and I are in the cave with the airship.
2. AC Boy is either unconscious or dead from Ztar's attack.
3. We don't have boats

The cyborg twist could work, but we'll need to re-work the chapter.
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Re: The NSC Fan-Fic: Discord

Postby Roboryantron » Mon Jul 19, 2010 8:01 pm

Storm39 wrote:There are several contradictions:

1. AC Boy and I are in the cave with the airship.
2. AC Boy is either unconscious or dead from Ztar's attack.
3. We don't have boats

The cyborg twist could work, but we'll need to re-work the chapter.

Well AC Boy disappeared.
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Re: The NSC Fan-Fic: Discord

Postby Storm39 » Mon Jul 19, 2010 8:04 pm

Roboryantron wrote:
Storm39 wrote:There are several contradictions:

1. AC Boy and I are in the cave with the airship.
2. AC Boy is either unconscious or dead from Ztar's attack.
3. We don't have boats

The cyborg twist could work, but we'll need to re-work the chapter.

Well AC Boy disappeared.

Let's just say he was banned or something.
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Re: The NSC Fan-Fic: Discord

Postby Chuey » Mon Jul 19, 2010 8:07 pm

I don't want to be unfair to everyone but I ask for it to be sent ahead of time to fix contradictions and errors. I've already investigated one issue in a chapter to make sure it wasn't an issue. It wasn't. But this, not even sending it to me. Didn't even bother reading it. Sorry RM, send it to me or don't write. The fan-fic isn't ending because we're switching domain names.
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Re: The NSC Fan-Fic: Discord

Postby RayquazaMaster » Mon Jul 19, 2010 8:33 pm

Chuey wrote:I don't want to be unfair to everyone but I ask for it to be sent ahead of time to fix contradictions and errors. I've already investigated one issue in a chapter to make sure it wasn't an issue. It wasn't. But this, not even sending it to me. Didn't even bother reading it. Sorry RM, send it to me or don't write. The fan-fic isn't ending because we're switching domain names.

Oh, sorry. I posted it without sending it to you because I thought we we ending it since we're switching domains. I'll PM it to you tomorrow.
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